Category Archives: Clubhouse News

Greetings From Greece

Hi fellas,

Everything is good here in Skiathos. I haven’t done much scouting but I think I’ll be ready for an internet-based draft upon return. All week long I’ve been doing massive simulations and came up with odds for no-hitters, perfect games, cycles, and a few other things. I simulated 90,000 games over 500 years and have the odds for each occurrance. No worries, I’ve been doing it overnight as we go to sleep so Mrs. Utley hasn’t even noticed…much.

We leave for Athens on Friday and we are spending a couple days there looking at really old stuff. Anyway, hugs and kisses to you both. Talk to you in a few days…

Hairys Brace for Showdown with Your Mom

With the surging Knights and Maternal Collegiates mowing down opponents left and right, the Gary Hairys once comfortable lead in the division has all but vanished.  The Hairys now hold a meager one game over both clubs, and a 2-game series with the Mothers could leave them shaking their head in a tie for 2nd.  Obviously, everyone hopes that will not happen, as Hairy fans everywhere hope their team’s winning streak can continue.  Either way, one of these squads must see their impressive winning ways come to an end.  Ockey has heard rumors that Manager Crow is most available on Wednesdays and Thursdays, so he is hoping that that will be the case this week and that these guys can get this series in the books.  Let me know what works for you, Andy.

ps.  feel free to stop hitting homers for a couple games.

Manager B. Utley Reaches Historic Milestone

The Nantucket Knights’ recent 5-0 victory over the Dead Bloated Cows was noteworthy not only for Chien-Ming Wang’s complete game shut-out, but also because it marked the 200th game of PTP played by Commissioner/Manger Brian Utley in the modern era. As manager of the Slappers and Knights, Utley has led his teams to a 114-86 record over those 200 games for an impressive .570 winning percentage. And, of course we all know (as we are reminded all too frequently) that Utley is a 4-time World Champ with a league-best 6 Division Titles under his belt as well. As dominant a force as this game has ever known, we salute you on reaching this milestone, Bri.

May continued success be yours (except against the Hairys).

ps. Manager T. Karren is not far behind, as his 200th game will be the 2nd of his 2 upcoming games with the Deeners. No doubt he is hoping it will be as successful as Utley’s.