All posts by Jerry Ockey

Adrian Gonzalez Drinks My Milkshake

"Try this on for size, chump"

Adrian Gonzalez is seriously owning me this season. He alone is solely responsible for 3 of my losses this season. In 4 games against the Hairys, A-Gonz is hitting .500 (7/14) with 6 runs scored, 4 bombs and THIRTEEN RBI’s. Thirteen RBI’s in 4 games?!?!? That’s rude, plain and simple. Rest assured, if there was a “bean batter” option, it would have been used with abandon on this clown by now.

Hairys Back in the Swing of Things With Sweep of Knights

First of all, did you see what I did there? In the title? You see, I took the word “swing”, which has an obvious baseball connotation, but then I used it in another common phrase where it has a totally different meaning!! Full on double meaning!! WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN??!?!?

It means the Hairys are back and ready to stop losing tons of games. Thankfully their starting pitchers were up to the task against the Knights who had started the Gary season off on a sour note with an opening series sweep like 11 months ago. Not really that long. Felt like it, though. Anyway, Y. Gallardo and The Chronic combined to throw 13.1 innings of shut-out baseball allowing 7 hits while striking out 13. That will get the job done. The offense came courtesy of Aaron Hill and Kung Fu Panda in Game 1 where they combined to go 6 of 7 with a bomb and 3 RBI’s and then pretty much everyone got in on the act in Game 2 that ended up a 12-0 beat-down for the Hairys. Braun and Miggy C each had 3 hits with Cabrera collecting 5 RBI’s on the night. Darren Oliver got his head kicked in early and Kuo allowed 5 hits and 4 runs in 2/3 of an inning. Not what Brian was hoping for. The pbp bot said one of my guys “hit the CRUD out of the ball.” That pretty much made my night. It was great to play again. Brian Utley is my hero.

Hairys Lose Fifth Straight to Start Season

After losing their fifth straight game to start the season, Pablo Sandoval and Manager Ockey are wondering what in the crap they need to do to win a game this year. The Hairys have played 5 games. They have held a lead in each of the 5 games and in one game on two separate occasions. Every single one of those leads was lost in increasingly heartbreaking fashion. Three of the Hairys’ five games have gone extra innings. They have lost all three, two in walk-off fashion. In game one against the Foxes, Pablo Sandoval got his Kung-Fu grip on in a BIG way – he was 4 for his first 4 with 3 bombs and 6 RBI’s. I mean really – he was ill. Unfortunately, Hairy starter Gallardo was making his coach ill. He gave up 7 hits in 4 innings, 5 of which were for extra bases.

Ockey had enough of that crap, so he put in lefty Happ to face the weak vs lefties part of the Fox order. So, naturally, Happ gives up back to back bombs to the first two batters he faced. Happ has now given up 4 bombs in 4 innings pitched. That is not very good. Nevertheless, Sandoval and Cabrera bombs gave the Hairys a two run lead entering the 9th. In comes Hairy closer Huston Street who is notoriously horrible in PTP. And voila, HE give up back to back homers. Game tied. Youkilis kicks a grounder in the 11th to lose the game. Game over. I give up.

Srsly? 3 of 8 Dodger Starters Already on DL

Manager Ockey bid a tearful adieu to 3 of his 8 starting hitters in the first 2 weeks of the season. Not just any 3, either. Lead-off hitter Furcal, clean-up hitter Manny and only 3rd baseman on the active roster DeWitt. Each gone for at least 5-6 weeks. On the bright side, this has forced me to become familiar with some more aspects of this game (DL, activating players, etc). On the not bright side, 3 of my 5 starting pitchers have WHIP’s of 3 or greater. Reesty.