Jerry’s 2012 Hairy’s Among Best Ever

With Jerry already having a 12 win season his Hairy’s are among the top 5 teams of all-time. This list comprises all teams from 2004-2011. Including 2012, there have been 38 different teams. Good job, Jerry

Creek SB
15 3 2005
Happy Slappers 13 5 2009
Happy Slappers 13 5 2010
Banida Bison 12 6 2006
Happy Slappers 11 7 2004
Happy Slappers 11 7 2007
Happy Slappers 11 7 2008
Beaver Moose 11 7 2007
Mantua OB/GYNs 10 8 2008
Curb Dogzz 10 8 2007
Jumping Germans 10 8 2005
Amalga Amalgam 10 9 2011
Gary Hairys 10 9 2009
Happy Slappers 10 8 2011
Logan River Hazards 9 10 2009
Gary Hairys 9 10 2010
Happy Slappers 9 9 2006
Curb Dogs 9 9 2004
Supreme Love Gods 9 9 2010
Gary Hairys 9 9 2008
SC Mongeese 8 10 2004
Cornish Game Hens 8 10 2010
Love Gods 8 10 2011
Jumping Germans 8 10 2004
Jumping Germans 8 10 2006
Gary Hairys 8 10 2010
Happy Slappers 7 11 2005
Curb Dogs 7 11 2006
The Schnurrbarts 7 11 2010
Curb Dogzz 6 12 2008
The Sprinklers 5 13 2009
Curb Dogs 4 14 2005
Weltmeisters 4 14 2007

Hey Love Gods….

Is there any way we could get our last game in tonight? I think we need to get it in before our esteemed commisioner leaves so he can leave us with the end of season database that we’ll need for the World Series. Just let me know if tonight works. I can play anytime from 5pm on and since it’s a game where we’ll be playing for little more than pride, we can make it quick.

ps. congrats on your epic victory last night. i for one expect a full report. Condolences to you, Bri, but don’t expect me to feel too bad for you when you’re getting ready to board a plane to paradise. Have an amazing and safe trip.

Crucial Game Rained-Out – Rescheduled Tonight

With only 3 days left before Slapper skipper Utley will be in semi-retired-Maui mode, the league is looking for the completion of the most crucial game of the entire season. The implications are enormous. The Slappers need just 1 win to push the season to the much-fabled 19th game and shot at his 8th World Series in 9 years. Pedro Martinez is rested and eager for that 19th game and Barry Zito has been handed the game ball for #18. This is huge folks. A loss and the Slapper season is over.


Another note: After wins in game #18 & #19, the Slappers are hoping for a classic post-work SLC Library in-person World Series.

Hairys Rupture Cysts to Claim 1st Division Title

2012 Davis League has seen more than it’s fair share of classic pitching duels, and the match-up between the Gary Hairys and the Butt Fissures Sunday night was right up there with the best ever. With the Division Title and a guaranteed spot in the World Series on the line, Manager Karren was stoked and ready to send his ace, King Felix, to the hill. Ockey, having used his most reliable starters against the Gods in order to get to this point, was left with a tough decision as to who to start. He went with the youngster Aaron Small, who, along with Jae Seo, has been surprisingly awesome this year. Ockey felt good about Small at Coors because if nothing else, he does not give up the long-ball.

It was a duel from the start as both Small and Hernandez were stunning. Small went 4.2 shutout innings giving up only 2 hits and striking out 4 while walking 3. Hernandez was even more brilliant in his 4.2 innings of shutout ball, giving up only a hit and a walk and needing only 54 pitches to dispense of the Hairys with stunning efficiency. Ockey literally wiped his brow when Hernandez was pulled, but it didn’t get any easier as in came Andy Pettite followed by Padilla to combine for 4.1 innings of sick one-hit shut-out ball. Small was relieved by the D-Train for the Hairys and, after giving up a single to Valentin in the 5th to put men on the corners, he nutted up and K’d Helton to end the first real threat of the game from either side.

The Cysts threatened hard in the bottom of the 8th as Helton reached on an infield single, then with 2 out, Edmonds singled up the middle and then Ensberg walked to load ’em up. Hairys everywhere held there breath, but the D-Train again came through in the clutch and induced a harmless flyball out of Easley to get out of the inning. Both Willis and Padilla pitched perfect 9th’s to send the game to extras. With Padilla tiring and JD Drew with his .235 pr rating against lefties at the plate (Drew had been brought in for the injured Jeff Francoeur who was brutally beaned earlier), lefty fireballer BJ Ryan was brought in. Drew came through against his former team, however, and worked the count in his favor and then lined a single up the middle. Ockey was hopeful as his lefty-killers were still in place and boy did they come through. Nick Johnson ended the shutout with a huge triple that scored Drew and with Johnson at 3rd and no out, Ockey wanted more. He got as David Wright, who was straight awful for most of the year but has really come on lately, atoned for a multitude of sins with a blast off new pitcher Carlos Zambrano down the left-field line that had Carlton Fisk smiling somewhere as it cracked off the foul-pole for a 2 run bomb that gave the Hairys a 3-0 lead. Closer extraordinaire Huston Street was brought in to sign, seal and deliver the Division Title to Hairy Nation, but he finally showed signs of mortality as he gave up a seeing-eye single to Coco Crisp and then another single to Tony “Terror in the Clutch” Clark. He got a huge out by popping out Edmonds, though and then after walking Ensberg to load the bases for dramatic effect, it was an instant replay of the 8th inning as Damian Easley flew out with the bases loaded. Coors Field was silent as the Hairys stormed the field to celebrate their first division title and a return trip to the World Series. Who they play remains a mystery that will be solved shortly.

Of note in this game: *Big Papi went 0-4 with 2 K’s to drop his average to .143 with no homers on the year. WTF?!?!
*A-Rod went hitless to end his 13 game hitting streak and his shot at the triple crown, but he did swipe a bag to become the one and only member of the 8-8 club.